You are loosing it. I am pretty confident of that. Welcome to the world of crazy horticulturist! 
Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside just knowing there are other people out there almost as crazy as me.  Far crazier in respects to varieties of seeds BTW. Probably not as crazy on other things 
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Scott
AKA The Redbaron
"Permaculture is a philosophy of working with, rather than against nature; of protracted & thoughtful observation rather than protracted & thoughtless labour; & of looking at plants & animals in all their functions, rather than treating any area as a single-product system."
Bill Mollison
co-founder of permaculture
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