Sex Toys as Pollinating Devices

[Cole_Robbie]

My girlfriend left a few things at my house. I decided to put them to good use.

My high tunnel tomatoes are growing well: http://i.imgur.com/2pjrOaN.jpg But I am not happy with the fruit set.

I made two pollinators. The first is a basically a vibrator on a stick:
http://i.imgur.com/kD0SXU8.jpg
The stick is the handle of a basting brush that came with a set of grill utensils. The brush is rubber and can be removed from the metal handle. I taped the vibrator to the rubber mount so the handle can be easily removed. Having the handle makes it go a lot faster. http://i.imgur.com/sRKsrNf.jpg

The other pollinator is a sex toy called a "micro bullet." They are about $10 on amazon. The one I have is the double bullet: http://i.imgur.com/rIRofVN.jpg If using a vibrating pollinator is supposed to mimic the vibrations of a bumble bee, then this thing is like a bee on a wire. I can't imagine anything resembling a real bee any more closely. The bullet is more fun to use, but it is slower than the stick vibe. It was covered in pollen immediately upon using: http://i.imgur.com/JEGXx9o.jpg I can see the pollen fly when it touches a flower.

I realize electric toothbrushes are the norm to use as pollinators, but they are expensive and have tiny batteries. I think sex toys are more powerful, much more diverse, and a more cost-effective use of battery life.

[Stvrob]

I assume when you say your girlfriend left these at your house, that means she is not coming back?

[Stvrob]

Originally Posted by Cole_Robbie

....I can see the pollen fly when it touches a flower......

I tried that and the pollen was flying before it even touched the flower! I swear this has never happened before!

[Cole_Robbie]

We got in a fight about a year ago and she moved out, but we didn't break up. I usually go over to her house anyway. She was a little mad about the bullet toy, but I told her it was a business decision - using it as a pollinator would make enough tomatoes to buy another one several times over.

[Brandon558]

This has me cracking up! Do you think this will work with other veges... Okra, cukes?

Thanks

[Brandon558]

This has me cracking up! Do you think this will work with other veges... Okra, cukes?

Thanks

[Cole_Robbie]

I don't see why not. I really like the mount on the stick vibe, where I can pull out the stick out and put the vibe in my pocket in case anyone shows up unexpectedly at the greenhouse, thereby preventing an awkward conversation.

[gssgarden]

O...M...G!!! Too funny!!

I'd love to see some peoples faces when reading this!! lol

Whatever works!!

Greg

[ginger2778]

OK, now I really have seen everything! I just showed this thread to my husband, and he said, " now I know why you spend so much time on this website". You never know what will come next LOL!

Marsha

[Worth1]

Originally Posted by ginger2778

OK, now I really have seen everything! I just showed this thread to my husband, and he said, " now I know why you spend so much time on this website". You never know what will come next LOL!

Marsha

A person could put a real twist to these words.

Worth

[joseph]

They've worked very well for me... I prefer the "mini", "micro", or "pocket" versions because they fit better in my pocket with the other garden related tools I always carry: flashlight, pocket-knife, magnifying glass, 9/16" wrench, camera, etc... And the smaller versions are more discrete.

[Cole_Robbie]

Originally Posted by joseph

They've worked very well for me... I prefer the "mini", "micro", or "pocket" versions because they fit better in my pocket with the other garden related tools I always carry: flashlight, pocket-knife, magnifying glass, 9/16" wrench, camera, etc... And the smaller versions are more discrete.

I am cracking up that you are in Utah of all places. I thought everyone from there was too uptight to do such a thing.

And to Patti - you people are the only ones who would understand!

[joseph]

Originally Posted by Cole_Robbie

I am cracking up that you are in Utah of all places. I thought everyone from there was too uptight to do such a thing.

I travel to Wyoming to buy my devices. And always pay in cash....

"Can I help you?"
"Uh... I need a device to vibrate tomato flowers?"
"Sure. What size?"
"Uh... Smaller is better."

I left the store empty handed the one time that the clerk tried to card me... I was almost 50 by then.

[AKmark]

Cole, I dare you to make a youtube of you pollinating your tomatoes, it would probably go viral. lol

[Cole_Robbie]

Mark, I'd end up on Tosh.o, "We flew vibrator tomato guy to Hollywood for this week's web redemption."

My girlfriend used to live in Alabama, where sex toys are illegal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Ob...nforcement_Act
So I should add the disclaimer that if you live in the state of Alabama and attempt to pollinate your tomatoes this way, you could end up violating state obscenity laws.

I'm already starting to see a lot more tiny green tomatoes instead of dropped blossoms, so I think it's working. I haven't told anyone yet in person, just tomatoville. You people are the only ones who would understand.