The existential crisis of the tomato

snugglekitten · February 28, 2015

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I fear that we are at a cross roads. The tomato, in all its terrestrial glory, no longer knows what it is.

Today every shiny, flashy new tomato is cross-dressed in a name that denies its solanum origin.

We have "cherry tomatoes" "banana tomatoes" "grape tomatoes" "strawberry tomatoes" "chocolate tomatoes" "raspberry tomatoes" "blueberry tomatoes" "indigo apple tomatoes", and the list goes on and on.

No other fruit is facing this crisis of confidence. There is no "tomato melon" or even a "tomato apple."

So what is, pray tell, the numinous nature of this mysterious fruit?

What is the true TOMATO, I ask?

and why do we need to hide our cravings for this lycopene-rich afrodesiac that will make a man into a (quoting Jesse Ventura) "GDam sexual tyranasaurus?"

If you could pick one cultivar, and give it to a diplomatic envoy from another planet, which would it be?

Which worthy werewolf-berry of wonder would you choose and why?

February 28, 2015	#1
snugglekitten BANNED Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Land of the White Eagle Posts: 341	The existential crisis of the tomato Ladies and Gentlemen: I fear that we are at a cross roads. The tomato, in all its terrestrial glory, no longer knows what it is. Today every shiny, flashy new tomato is cross-dressed in a name that denies its solanum origin. We have "cherry tomatoes" "banana tomatoes" "grape tomatoes" "strawberry tomatoes" "chocolate tomatoes" "raspberry tomatoes" "blueberry tomatoes" "indigo apple tomatoes", and the list goes on and on. No other fruit is facing this crisis of confidence. There is no "tomato melon" or even a "tomato apple." So what is, pray tell, the numinous nature of this mysterious fruit? What is the true TOMATO, I ask? and why do we need to hide our cravings for this lycopene-rich afrodesiac that will make a man into a (quoting Jesse Ventura) "GDam sexual tyranasaurus?" If you could pick one cultivar, and give it to a diplomatic envoy from another planet, which would it be? Which worthy werewolf-berry of wonder would you choose and why?